Matthew 3:17

Matthew 3:17 says: "And a voice from heaven said 'This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased'".

Matthew 3:17 comes before Matthew 4:12 when Jesus begins to preach.
Matthew 3:17 comes before Matthew 4:18 when Jesus calls the first disciples, Simon Peter, Andrew, James & John.
Matthew 3:17 comes before Matthew 4:23 when Jesus heals for the first time.

Matthew 3:17 comes before Jesus heals the man with leprosy, before he calms the storm, before he heals the demon-possessed men, before he heals the paralytic, the blind, and the mute.

Matthew 3:17 comes before Jesus walks on water, feeds the Four Thousand, before he heals the boy with a demon, before all of the parables.

Matthew 3:17 comes before Jesus dies on the cross for our sins.

Matthew 3:17 happens BEFORE all these things. Before Jesus performs the miracles, teaches, and dies in our place, God LOVES and is PLEASED with Jesus.

And the same goes for us. Before we were born, before we accepted Christ, before we ever shared the gospel with anybody, before any mission trip or service project, our Father LOVED us, and His love continues daily.  It is not contingent on what we do or how we try to please Him. His love is there for all, to accept and fill up on daily.

Quick Update on Life

I feel like I've been living on a roller coaster!

Last Thursday I was able to go to a Kelly Clarkson/Maroon 5 concert with Laura in the Woodlands. Although it was a late night and involved a lot of driving and hopping on crutches, we had a BLAST. The time we get to spend together is so rare, that we always have an incredible time when we do get to see each other.

Friday I got to go home, and was able to relax there until Sunday morning. I was SO in need of a weekend where I didn't have to do anything!

Monday and Tuesday were categorized by super late nights. Like, 4 AM kinda nights. I had a math test Wednesday, so spent all of those days learning the material in the hopes that I would start the semester off on a good test grade!

I also had a paper and a project due Wednesday. So yeah, by Wednesday I was EXHAUSTED!

And Wednesday was an interesting day to say the least:

• I learned that 2 year olds change moods quicker than Texas changes seasons
• I got cursed at by a professor for asking a question. I didn't even know how to respond.
• I had to pull in a lane where a D1 swimmer was swimming and was supposed to maintain his intervals. HA.
• I mixed up body wash and shampoo. Let's just say my hair had an interesting texture for the remainder of the day.
• I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop so had to ride the route again.

I had an advising appointment on Thursday to figure out classes for the spring semester. Every other semester my advisor has tried to convince me that it was necessary to take summer school in order to graduate on time, and every year I have convinced her that I will take 16 hours during the fall and spring because I spend all summer at camp. For the first time in 3 years my advisor goes "You are right on track to graduate! I can't even suggest a class for you to take this summer. Have fun at camp!" Insane course loads are paying off! In the spring I will only be taking 15 hours, and be spending an entire day in the classroom as a part of Junior Methods. Fall 2014 I will only be taking 12 hours and spending 2 days in the classroom for Senior Methods. Then Spring 2015 will be student teaching. CRAZY!

I also went back to the doctor on Thursday and was allowed off crutches! I'm supposed to wear shoes that have a decent amount of support in them until the bruising goes down, but other than that I'm good to go! And can get back in and practice with my team on Monday!

Thursday night before practice our team got together to create a motivational video for Sport Clubs as part of a challenge from our advisors. It was supposed to be a spin off of the Kid President videos, and could only be 10 seconds long. This is what we came up with: 

Friday I worked on homework all day, and then Rachel's freshmen (she is an exec director of a freshmen leadership organization, so she has 9 freshmen babies this year) came over for dinner and a movie night. I helped Rachel finish serving the spaghetti and cleaning up the kitchen, enjoyed supper with everybody, then went back to my room to do more homework. Super exciting, I know.

And that brings us to today. I woke up and made cinnamon rolls, and am spending the afternoon working on homework. Then tonight the polo team has been invited over to watch the game and hang out! Should be fun!

All in all, my life is crazy. It's insanely busy. But I wouldn't trade any part of it and I love getting to see what the Father is teaching me in all these different aspects of my life!

Well. It's fractured.

Yep. You read that right. This accident-prone, klutz, uncoordinated has actually supposedly done a bit of damage. After an interesting experience, lots of laughing at myself, and a couple x-rays later, the verdict is fractured. And yes, that means I am on crutches.

The thing is though, it doesn't hurt. Yes, when one of my beloved preschoolers accidently stepped on my foot, it hurt. Yes, when you poke my foot repeatedly where it is still swollen, it hurts. But I spent 7am-3pm walking on the outside of my foot today and was fine, so it is frustrating that now I'm stuck on crutches.

Thankfully, tomorrow will be an easy day. I only have 2 classes and they are in the same building, fairly close to the bus stop. Then I will be heading to the Woodlands for dinner and a Kelly Clarkson concert with Laura. Although the walk from the car might be long tomorrow night, I'm SUPER pumped to spend the evening with Laur, and I know we will be laughing so much it won't even matter.

Friday, I only have one class and then I'll be heading home for the weekend. Since I am on crutches and can't really help with KFC on Sunday (and I feel AWFUL having to sit out and watch and not be able to help), I get to spend until Monday morning at home. It will be really nice!

So, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Here we go! Time to provide the campus of A&M with some free entertainment as I try to get around campus with a backpack and crutches! On my own defense, when I don't have a backpack on I'm not too bad on the crutches! And I learned how to go up the stairs 2 steps at a time tonight! WHOOP!

"Did you know you're wearing 2 different shoes?"

Well, tonight was fun.

Water polo actually went really well and we got to do more drills/less "how to pass" type things. So that was great!

When it was time to pull the goals out of the water, I had one end of one while Katie had the other. Somehow in the process of pulling the goals onto land, the goal was dropped and landed on the top/inside of my foot. These things aren't light. They're not the ones that you see floating nicely on top of the water during games and tournaments. These things are huge, massive, and 100% metal.

Yeah. That's what they ACTUALLY look like. So, that got dropped on my foot, and my foot instantly swelled. For a while it looked like there was an indention in my bone where the bar landed. The top/inside of my foot was a lovely shade of black and blue within 10 minutes. Once the shock of "oh crud, that just happened" past and I regain my composure, I was able to put weight on the outside of my foot to go about the rest of my night. I went to Breakaway (but was only able to sit down during worship, standing for 30 minutes wasn't really an option). I couldn't fit my Chaco on that foot because it was so swollen, so I had to wear a flip flop. Not to worry, my sense of humor was still there because I proudly wore my chaco on my other foot as I hobbled up the ramps of Kyle to Breakaway. I was asked numerous times "Did you know you are wearing 2 different shoes?", to which I replied, "why no, I didn't! Thanks for letting me know!" and then laughed and explained to them why I was wearing 2 shoes.

I put on a good show, but Myriam & Dani could read through it. Dani walked me back to my car afterwards, and both lectured me on calling if I needed anything. I made it home and made an appointment with the Beutel (the school health service) for tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon to make sure that nothing is fractured/broken. I have every intention of being in the water tomorrow night to lead my team, so we shall see.

But yep. That was an adventure. We will see what tomorrow brings! I'm hoping that I'll wake up to find my foot looking normal and me being able to jump around and do cartwheels on it, as if nothing had happened!

Where's You Heart? [Acts 17:24-28]

This semester has been rough. From the outside looking in, everything seems to be going well: my classes are okay for the most part, recruitment for water polo was a success, my apartment is nice, and my friends are great. From everyone else's perspective, my world is looking good.

But in reality, it hasn't been so picture perfect. 

My heart aches DAILY for camp. Honestly, not a day goes by when I don't wish that I could drop everything at A&M and go back. I know that this pang and this heartache now is a huge sign that camp ministry is something that I'm passionate about. I promised that I would graduate, but I know that there's a very good chance I'll end up at camp, at least for a few years, after graduation.

It sounds silly to me to be struggling so much about missing Cho-Yeh. I've left Cho-Yeh after the previous 3 summers. I always had about a week of what the camp world calls "Cho-Depression", but then when a new routine starts back up, I am able to refocus on the day to day realities of school. This year, it's been different. Yes, I had about that week of Cho-Depression where every single thought revolved around Cho. When I'd look at my watch and think about what I'd be doing in the camp world. When I'd go to open something and naturally think to ask one of the guys for a pocket knife. When I would wake up at 7 AM in a panic that I missed prayer meeting.

Thankfully, those things have subsided. I'm out of that hole that we all suffer through when leaving camp. The valley that I'm in now is different. And it can't really be explained easily in words. I know that I don't get super pumped about my classes like I used to. I know that I don't get as excited about dumb things with my friends. I know that I'm quicker to jump into what needs to be done as opposed to enjoying the little things.

But I'm also quicker to love. Quicker to forget. Quicker to help. Quicker to laugh.

It doesn't make sense, I know that. At this point, I'm more blogging for my own sense of putting thoughts together than for anybody else.

And more than anything, I'm quicker to apply what I learned this summer into real world examples. For instance, tonight at polo all the officers were struggling. Kimbre had to leave early and was exhausted. Dani was running late and flustered. Myriam was stressed out and needing to get out a tad early. I had so much snot running out of my nose that I'm pretty sure even the amount of chlorine they put in that pool wouldn't cancel out that nastiness. So, I decided to put one thing I learned this summer into action: "Be real with those that you lead. They don't expect a perfect leader, but respect your honesty and realness". I pulled the girls aside and asked "Who has a test this week?" *several hands popped up* "Who is stressing majorly?" *more hands* "Who is feeling kinda under the weather?* *hands raise* "Who is running on sleep deprivation?" *hands* "The fact is, all of your officers are in the exact same shoes that y'all are. We are all exhausted. We are tired. We are sick. We're stressed. We can't find time to get everything done. So that's why the swim set was easier tonight. That's why we aren't doing as much conditioning, that's why we will probably get out a bit early. We are all at the same place that you are. We are students too. We are struggling, sick, exhausted, and worn out students. So let's make the most of this study-break, and know that if you ever need anything that your officer group is here for you. We understand where you're coming from, and we are running the same race that you are."

The girls responded so well. We had a GREAT practice.

The thing is, I learned SO much this summer, and haven't quite figured out how to apply it all to real life. Actually, scratch that. Honestly, I haven't figured out how to effectively apply HALF of it to real life yet. But that's okay. I'm getting there.

And the truth of the matter is: that's okay. As I'm "getting there", I'm also trusting that I'm here for a purpose. I may not be loving school. I may not be super pumped about the little things. I may miss the silly part of polo now that I'm wrapped up in the administrative side of it. All of those things are okay, as long as I know and trust that I'm here, I'm at A&M, I'm back at school, I'm running this team, I'm living with these girls, I'm HERE for a purpose.

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth, and does not live in temples built by hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth, and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out to him and find him, though he is not far form each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being'. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring'.  --Acts 17:24-28

Wow.  The saying "God has you here for a reason" is way too overused, but it is SO true. I am HERE. The Father chooses to allow me to wake up every morning and to live my life. To go to classes. To invent suspect recipes. To run water polo practices. To love His creation. To spend time outside. To live in College Station/Bryan.

He determines the exact places we should live so that we will seek Him.

And I can honestly say this has been true. It has daily been a prayer of mine the last 4 weeks to find joy in the little things through Him. When I am struggling and feeling lonely, only Christ can fill me back up. I can try and seek satisfaction from friends, from classes, from polo. And momentarily, they might provide happiness. But late at night when I can't sleep and I'm alone in my room, those things won't provide the joy I seek. Only Christ will.  I live in Him. I am given my purpose through Him. I am HIS daughter. I belong to Him.

And that lesson that I'm learning is worth the loneliness, worth the heartache, worth the pains of this semester. He is teaching me, and that is enough.


So yes, that was an emotional vomit. But hey, I am a mess and that's who I am. And thankfully, that's enough. We don't have to be perfect, we aren't called to that expectation. We are called to seek our maker, and so through the challenges that's what I will do. Won't you?

Crazy Dreams are Nothing

It blows my mind that God's plan for our lives is far greater than even our wildest dreams. Y'all, I have some crazy dreams for my future, yet He is greater.

If I were to list out my dreams, these just skim the surface:

I dream to TEACH in an ORPHANAGE.

I dream to ADOPT a child.

I dream to have a FAMILY and a HUSBAND.

I dream about working in CAMP MINISTRY.

I dream about a life full of CHILDREN.

I dream to go on MISSIONS all throughout South & Central America.

I dream to be a VESSEL through which God moves on my polo team.

I dream of living in the COUNTRY with land for my children to grow up on.

I dream to be KNOWN and LOVED.

Ministry. Children. Adoption. Family. Missions. Orphanages. That's not a small order! But yet those dreams, as wild as they may sound now, are NOTHING compared to what the Father has laid out for my life. He looks at my dreams and says "But, Beloved Daughter, I want so much more for you". MORE than those dreams? More than a life of ministry? More than a family with a heart for adoption? More than journeys and missions? More than loving and teaching orphans?

YES. He plans MORE. Our dreams are too small. Our dreams are worldy, earthly dreams. His dreams for us are Heaven-sent and God-sized. 

How crazy is that? We are so blessed by a Father who is so good to us.