Swimmin for that little girl

I'm going on my 14th year competitively swimming. It's been my whole life for quite some time. I've always loved it, how else could I have put up with it for over 4/5 of my life? Things have started changing though, and I'm not loving it like I used to. I've really been debating whether or not I'll even swim for Cy-Falls next year.

I hate that I don't love the sport like I used to. I remember when I'd rather be at swim practice than with friends, when I'd be upset if I missed a practice, when all I wanted to do was swim. I honestly loved it.

I love the silence as the starter says "take your mark", and how the second the beep goes off, it erupts with noise again. I love the calmness of a flip turn compared to the mad rush the second you break the surface. I love how you spend so much time with your team, that you honestly become a family. I love the way you can dislike your coach so much for the 2 hours and 15 minutes you are in the water, but love them to death the second you finish warm down. I love the feeling after you take off your goggles and cap and dunk your head, and realizing you are done. I love the way you feel after you finished a really hard practice, and know that you did it. But I don't love to swim like I used to.

This season has been a long one, and a not so pleasant one either. High school swimming has kinda burned me out, which is a real bummer. That's why I'm debating what my plans are for next year. I'll definitely swim Team YES, I don't know how I couldn't, but as for high school swimming, it's up in the air.

Districts are just around the corner, literally. 12 more days, I think. The planning has already begun: pasta dinner, breakfast the morning of, decorations for the pool, food for the meet excreta excreta. We're so close to being done.

So as much as I wanna say to myself "it's just one day then you're done. The day doesn't really matter anyway. Just don't care about it, and it'll all be over", I just can't. I don't quit something I start. I've put in too much time and dealt with too much since practice started in September. I'm not giving up now. I'm going to go to districts, swim my heart out and do my best. Giving it 110%, and not swimming halfheartedly (I thought about saying what Coach Denny would say here, but figured it's not too appropriate, HA!).

There's this quote I found a long time ago. There are two versions I like:

"I swim for that little 5 year old girl who jumped in the water on her first day of practice and forgot to bring her heart back out with her after-wards"

"Somewhere behind the hours of practice, the coaches who've pushed you, and the swimmer you've become, there is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. . . Swim for HER!!"

So that's what I'm doing. Swimming for that little girl that fell in love with the sport when she was only three.