The hardest thing about college is not having my family around to wrap me in a hug when I need them. Today is my gramma's birthday who passed away in March. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and although I was in bed by midnight which is the earliest since I moved to Cstat, I didn't fall asleep till after 2 just dreading what today could bring. Maybe that is why I slept through my alarm and woke up at 7:45 for an 8AM class across campus (yes, I made it with 3 minutes to spare), I wasn't wanting today to be a reality.
After my 8AM, I came back and was able to have my quiet time. After Impact I got a book called "Jesus Calling" which is a daily quick devotional. Today's devotional was about how it's okay to be weak, because God uses our weakness to expand our faith in Him, because we have to rely on Him so much more. That was perfect for today.
After my devo, I decided to dive right into studying and not allow myself any time to think at all. At about 10:30, I came back to my room (I had been studying in my little study area at the end of the hall) and the silence got to me. I LOST it. I missed my gramma so much that it hurt. It didn't help that I was the alone one in my room and so there was no comforting hug to be received.
At 10:45 my phone rang. It was Cameron, a friend from camp that is in my polisci class. I sniffled back tears, and asked him what was up. He wanted to have a P&W session in the Commons Lobby and wanted me to come. Heck, I wasn't going to be productive anyway on the roll I was on, so I went. JUST what I needed. It was awesome to see people come by and sing with us, even if only for a few songs. We sat in the lobby and sang (and he played guitar) for an hour and a half. Not only did it provide the comfort that I was seeking and the fellowship I was lacking, we could see it impacting other people's days as well. JUST what I needed.
After class and lunch I came back to my room to study. The quiet got to me again, and I emotionally lost it. I knew the rest of my family was going through the same thing, and I knew that it would've been easier to be with them. But, nope, I'm in College Station. It was funny though, right as I was pulling myself together, Megan A (impact counselor who lives 3 doors down) came knocking on my door, and said that she "just wanted to see how I was doing and give me a hug". Totally another God thing, because that is just what I was seeking.
God is so good. He had been building these relationships at A&M with Cho-friends and with Megan A to provide that comfort when I needed it. He knew I was going to have a hard day, and He provided for that. God is SO good, and even though it's hard not being home, I know that God is working wonders today both here and in Houston!
1 comment:
Yes, it was a hard day for all of us and I think we all tried to just keep busy; however, the cool things was Grandma's view was amazing and she was with us all!
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