Well, I did it. I have officially survived the hardest
semester of college thus far.
There wasn’t anything “easy” about this semester. I came in
not honestly wanting to be in College Station. My heart longed to be at Cho-Yeh
where I had the opportunity to take a year off of school and see what camp
ministry was all about. That decision to date has been the hardest choice I
have ever made. Unfortunately, nobody really understands the toughness behind
that because nobody truly knows what camp ministry means to me.
So not only did I start the semester off in rough patch to
begin with, I encountered several roadblocks this semester. I had to cancel our
annual fall water polo tournament, failing my first job as president. I ended up supposedly breaking my foot. I
dealt with reoccurring stress-induced headaches. I had my fair share of
roommate drama. I put myself out there and was vulnerable with a guy that I
liked and was hurt. I struggled with unreasonable professors and a professor
who tiptoed the line of sexual harassment. I let my emotions get the best of me
on several occasions.
This semester hasn’t been easy. But I can honestly say it
has been good. Did I “enjoy” this semester? I don’t know. That one is still up
for debate. But it has been GOOD because I can honestly leave College Station knowing
that I have been taught, shaped and molded this semester. The Father has taught
me to slow down and the importance of taking care of myself. I’ve been taught
how lost I am when I don’t make it a daily priority to sit down at His feet.
I’ve been molded into a more patient person. I have learned to view what were
annoying tasks of cleaning up after my roommates as a way to serve and love
them. I’ve been reminded time and time again about the unfathomable magnitude
of my Father’s love for me and how he cares for me even in the daily mundane
parts of my life, because nothing is mundane to Him as he orchestrates every
minute thing for the good of those who love Him. For the good of His sons and
daughters. For my good. Because as flawed as I am, I am His. He loves me in
spite of me, messes and imperfections included.
Despite the challenges, heart-aches, teary phone calls an
struggles, it is these things, these lessons, that have made this semester
GOOD.
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