Why I Wanted KJ

This year has been rough. To be realistic, college in general hasn't been a cake walk. This semester has been a good one, but I have been constantly stressed out for a variety of reasons. Polo has been rough, there are some family situations that are hard to deal with, I'm constantly exhausted. It's almost gotten to the point where it's too much stress. Last week I completely broke down and I scared myself how upset I got over something that should have been a happy surprise. When I drove to Houston on a whim this weekend I instantly felt better. A combination of relaxation, leaving my laptop in CS so I wasn't even tempted to do school stuff or work, and getting to cuddle with my puppy was the ultimate recipe for my stress level to drastically decrease.

I thought that by bringing KJ with me, she would be able to have that calming effect on me here too. And as much as I loved having her to sleep with last night and being able to walk her around this morning, unfortunately she is adding more stress. Technically we can't have pets in our apartment, and our building has been scheduled for maintenance this week. I didn't sleep at all last night because I had made myself sick over what would happen if we were caught. And KJ is scared of trains, so when you live 25 yards from a train track, that tends to cause a lot of crying and whimpering from KJ.

That's why this afternoon I will be taking KJ back to Cypress. As much as I have loved having my baby girl here, I can't be adding more stress. I'm too often at a breaking point.....

---------------------------

Well, as I was typing this earlier this morning, the maintenane guys decided to come, KJ started barking really loudly, and I lost it. I loaded the car up then and drove to Houston to drop her off. I feel like a failure, and as stressed out as I had been earlier, this was the last thing I needed. I cried nearly the entire way home, ended up sleeping for like 3 hours, and when Laura called, I ended up bawling my eyes out to her again. It's now 5:15 and I'm already in bed. Yep. I'm hoping some sleep will hopefully give me a new perspective.